I can’t remember the last time I have been able to just drive somewhere. No intent on doing anything. No real reason to end up where I end up. Nine times out of ten it’s to the beach. Not because I’m anti-social, but because for whatever reason I need to think to myself. Crazy? I don’t think so. I use to go out every day just for some me time. I’d drive down to the beach, mp3 player in hand, music blasting in my ears and the relaxing site of watching the waves crash on the shore.
That felt like it was so long ago. I’ve been so busy with working, school, and trying more and more to spend time with the boyfriend that I have lost myself within the chaos. I tell myself that once the semester is over, it’ll be different. But it won’t. I’ll go to another chaotic life of drowning myself in work to raise money for a trip to Philly that might not even happen. Worrying constantly if I am trying to get into the right profession. It’s an uphill battle that I never win because my own worst enemy stares back at me when I look in a mirror.
There are so many decisions and I’ll never know if I am making the right one. But that is what they call life I suppose.
School will be ending in a week and I will finally be able to breathe for once. Maybe even sleep in like I wish I could right now.